 |
Order | ||||||||||
|
The Experience | ||||||||||
|
|||||||||||
|
Reports | ||||||||||
|
Youth Leaders | ||||||||||
|
About Us | ||||||||||
|
Contact Us | ||||||||||
|
Home |
|
|
|
| Is 30 days just for troubled families? The 30 Days experience will deepen the relationship between almost every parent and student. Family members who have been close will become closer. Family members who have drifted from each other will rediscover love and closeness. (menu) Will interruptions hurt the process? Surgeons who just have cut a gaping incision in a patient are not likely to go get a snack or take a cell phone call. Similarly, parents and students whose hearts are exposed during a 30 Days session don’t need interruptions either. Before the first session, agree that neither of you will answer the phone or respond to any other interruption. Choose a room with a door that will be closed. Gently but firmly insist that other family members not interrupt you in any way during the brief sessions each evening. If younger children are in the home, a “Please Do Not Disturb” sign may be helpful. (menu) Where should the parent and student sit during the 30 Days experience? The 30 Days process will lose much of its effectiveness if parent and student sit far apart. They must arrange seating so their four knees would hold up a basketball. Parents and students with chairs in this position will be able to complete all the assignments and instructions during the 30 Days experience. (menu) Is a candle important during the experience? A burning candle is vital to the 30 Days experience. After the candle is lit at the beginning of each session, all other lights in the room should be turned off. Some families may prefer two candles to ensure adequate light for reading the cards. (menu) How do the parent and student know what to do after an envelope has been opened? When an envelope’s seal is broken and the flap raised, one of these two lines will be visible: “For Student’s Eyes Only” “For Parent’s Eyes Only” The person identified should pull that card from the envelope and follow its instructions. (menu) Which two family members should be the first to have the 30 Days experience? No parent or student in a home should miss having a 30 Days experience. The only question is which parent and which student should have the experience first? Two parents and one student in the home — The 30 Days experience simply will not work with more than one student and one parent in the room. After one parent and the student complete 30 days together, then that student can begin 30 days with the other parent. In deciding who goes first, families might ask, Which parent is gone more and has fewer opportunities for conversation? Or, Which parent has experienced more stress in the relationship with the student in recent weeks? Two parents and two or more students — Some families may fear that choosing partners may give the appearance of choosing “favorites.” In that situation flipping a coin may be a less stressful way to decide which parent will meet with which student. After the first 30 Days experience, family members will be eager to trade partners in order to find the same closeness they just experienced with another family member. One parent and two or more students — It may seem reasonable to some families to begin with the eldest student and then move down. Otherwise, coin tosses may prevent hurt feelings. (menu) Will missing a few nights hurt the process? Promising to spend part of 30 evenings with another family member sends a powerful message. That promise says, “You know I have many responsibilities, but you’re more important than they are.” Family members who sometimes doubt their importance will be blessed by such a message. Missing one of the 30 nights can send an opposite message. Worst case, it can say, “You’re important to me, but only until something more important comes along.” About the only way to miss a night without hurting the other person is to truthfully say, “I can’t be with you for 10 minutes any time tomorrow because of a situation that’s out of my control. Because time with you is a priority these 30 days, I would make a change if I could. The situation I can’t change is . . .” (menu) Can we be creative with when we meet?
When a family member cannot change an out-of-town trip during the 30 days, then the parent and student should plan for a 10 minute phone call that day. The night before they should open the envelope for the day they will be separated. While only reading the headings of the cards, they should separate them in two envelopes—one for the parent and one for the student. During the phone call they should open the two envelopes and follow the instructions on the cards. (menu) Can we substitute the 30 Days experience for professional intervention? Though the 30 Days experience is powerful and valuable, it is not a substitute for professional intervention and support. A family should not depend on this experience to prevent someone from being self-destructive, violent, or abusive. Children and parents have the right and the responsibility to tell competent helping persons when family members are at risk. A growing number of caring professionals are inviting troubled families to begin the 30 Days experience. Restoring love and closeness among family members complements most other therapeutic strategies. (menu) Can I use a notebook with more than one student? The 30 Days notebook is designed to be used with one parent and one student only. (menu) |
Copyright © 2001 Josiah Press, WebD4Less.Com and its licensors. All rights reserved. Comments about this web site should be directed to webmaster@josiahpress.com.